Wendy, why do I have such a hard time having orgasms with my husband? My friends claim they can have multiple orgasms with their lovers and I can barely have one, if not at all. I am not that experienced, my husband is only the 3rd person I have had sex with. Help…
— Desperate for Answers, Minnesota
Dear “Desperate,”
I can certainly can understand your frustration as orgasms are delightful, exhilarating, and really a healthy way to express your love or adoration for your mate. Since you haven’t had many partners I was wondering if you actually tried to masturbate to ensure you know what an orgasm feels like. Try one of the many vibrators we have on our website https://www.teddyloveadulttoys.com and sit in a quiet space in your home, put on some nice music, and maybe candles and explore your glorious body.
You can touch your nipples and cup your breasts. Then place the vibrator on top of your clitoris and gently rub the top part of your labia. As you feel the sensation you can stroke a little faster and increase the vibrator’s speed to a level that you feel the inner stirrings of waves of pulsations in your vagina. Let yourself relax and enjoy the lovely feelings and let yourself cum nice and long.
As you continue to experiment get a glass dildo and place that into your vagina with lube. You can rub your clitoris as you have the glass dildo up inside of you. This is really an amazing feeling both inside and outside of your body. You may be able to hit your G-spot with a curved dildo too. After you stop panting think about what you loved about the experience and think about how you can describe the places on your body that got you hot with excitement.
Now to your relationship and how you can start getting fulfilled sexually. According to Ross (2010), men and women’s idea of sex are different because women want romance and lots of foreplay and men want to get to the act and have an orgasm. At least some of them.
Those men that realize that foreplay, can get them aroused too, and keep the spark getting hotter and hotter have what have you hot sex.
I dated a guy once that was only into getting head and having intercourse with me. He was a great kisser, but nothing more. I thought how sad, because his tongue could be doing so much more on my clitoris. Then I thought after that one time together, that’s it, I would never want to marry someone that didn’t consider my sexual needs including oral sex.
Then I dated a man that loved candle lit dinners, cuddling with me, and having so much foreplay with me loving me get dressed up in cute little outfits. We loved stroking each other until we almost came and loved using all kinds of adult toys in the bedroom. In fact, he brought toys home every week and we played together. I married him and that sexual exploration continues after being together 28 years.
So “Desperate,” light a fire in the fireplace, put on some lingerie, play the sexiest music, get your sexy outfit on, and make out with the one your love. Tell your lover about how you explored your body and show him your hidden paradise and ignite your desires. Warm up some massage oil and let your hands explore your backs, necks, feet, the inner parts of your thighs, your entire body. Then slowly move to the genital area. You both can use vibrators on one another, you on his scrotum, his taint, and penis,anus, and he on your clitoris, vaginal area, and your anus. Once you are both very hot start licking each other to bring one another to either the brink of orgasm or to orgasm. You both will be happy after your newly found sensual locations and orgasms come out from within. Keep the spice alive, go out on dates once a month, and explore. Remember “Anything Goes.”
References
Ross, D. (2010). The top ten truths about women and sex (as far as I know them…): Everything you always wanted to know about “it” but were afraid to ask.
The Times, 06 Nov 2010: 9.